Parenthood 101 (Day 8)

Today is my last full day in my role as "mom". Omg. I made it. Wow. That was quite a week. Their mom comes home from Cuba tomorrow and I will be free. I figured tonight I'm gonna order pizza in, as it's my last night here. Nothing else major/crazy planned...just some more of the same old same old.

Wow. Haha, I must say that alot and I apologize. I'm just happy that there is now a light at the end of the tunnel. That sounds bad too, but in all seriousness I just miss my own life, and this has been a rude awakening as to what living with children is like. I'm not opposed to being a stay-at-home mom either. The first five years of a child's life are essential to their development and as my mom put it "I'm not paying anyone to raise my children." I wouldn't mind staying at home, until the kids were of school age, but I want to work, I want to teach. I would want to go back to work, and being a teacher, that would work well as far as schedules go. I didn't go to university to stay at home. I enjoy money and want to be out in the workforce earning it.

Just had to avert a nose bleed situation. Was getting dressed and ready for the morning when I head Isla shrieking like a banshee. I dunno what Cyrus did, but he must have popped her good. There was blood trailing from the living room all the way to the bathroom. Thank goodness blood has never revolted me and I was blessed with a very strong stomach. Got all the blood cleaned up off her face and she was good as new.

Just brought the kids back from the park. I wish it wasn't so freaking cold out so I could run more energy off of them. Sigh. They are currently playing with stamps and ink, which is sure to end up messy. Will be ordering a pizza soon for supper and possibly working in a game of Twister afterwards.

In just over 24 hours I will be off mommying duty. I'll be repacking my suitcase tonight and making sure I have everything before getting driven back tomorrow morning. If learned anything from this experience, it's how difficult and isolating being a stay-at-home parent can be...and this was only for 8 days. I can't even imagine having to do that for years on end, I would lose my sanity. While I love kids, I love the fact that my job allows me to be around kids during the day, and in the evenings I can go home to my quiet house and have my own quiet private time. There is no separation of the two once you have kids. This past week in a way has served as a third type of birth control...the reminder of what having a couple of kids is like and how totally unprepared I am for children (at least for several more years). I do want to be a mom eventually but there are alot of other ducks I need to get in a row before that even remotely becomes a possibility.

Parenthood 101 (Day 7)

Wow. Finally. Last night was the first night since I've been here, that Isla didn't cry until 11pm. She cried till maybe 9pm instead and then eventually talked herself to sleep over the next two hours. It was kinda of refreshing to not have to listen to. I've gotten to the point where any sort of crying grates on my nerves like you won't believe.

Woke up this morning in a remarkably better mood considering the events of yesterday, and knowing that I only have two more sleeps before I can get back to my regular life. Sigh. I know that once I leave I'm gonna miss the two of them, but really I know that I'll be relieved to go about my daily schedule and start doing all the things I love again. I haven't been able to go to badminton, go to yoga class, eat any of my regular foods, spend any of my gifts cards that I've gotten for Christmas, or upload any of the pics I took over the holiday. Everything is put on hold. Only two more sleeps. Think I can...I think I can...I think I can...

Today is looking like a relatively low key day. Cyrus got his video game back after behaving yesterday and going to bed when he was supposed to. I get regular updates about the status of Buzz Lightyear and how many soldiers he's been able to out-run. I honestly don't even think he's playing the game right, but it entertains him, so what the heck. Isla's a bit of a grouch this morning, largely I think, due to lack of sleep throughout the week. I just heard her say "I wish I could be a babysitter," referring to caring for her stuffed animals. Sigh. She has no idea of what she speaks.

I'm looking forward to the hour of afternoon quiet time because I can catch an episode of the Intervention marathon going on today on A&E. There are new episodes starting tonight at 9pm too. Woot.

Life is good. And I can't wait to go to my regular yoga class this Thursday. Its kinda difficult to exercise in my current situation. My body and brain are in some serious need of stretching and meditation.

Sigh. Just took the kids to the park. Friggen children. It was Cyrus this time who decided to get all huffy puffy because I asked him to put his mitts on. It's currently -7 here with the windchill, and frankly I'm gonna be the one in trouble if mom comes home and his hands are all chapped. He decided to sit there with his arms crossed and a look of death on his face, claiming that he "wasn't gonna do anything". It's kinda hilarious now to see children attempt to pull nonsense. He was the one who was begging me all afternoon to go to park, and then once we got there claimed he wanted to go home. *pulls hair out*

Parenthood 101 (Day 6)

Well after the most nightmarish night in a long time, 2012 can only get better. OMFG. I thought things were going pretty hunky dorey once I put the kids to bed around 7:00pm, but of course, once again Isla decided to spend the better part of three hours wailing and sobbing at the top of her lungs which kept her brother from sleeping. Couple that with a toilet that decided to stop functioning (and I couldn't find a plunger for) and a whole pile of emotional crap that decided to resurface, it was a shitty night in both the literal and figurative sense. I went to bed around 11pm, and put my iPod earbuds in and tried to fall asleep. No such luck. The pair of them decided to sneak into the same room and carry on till around midnight. When I shut my music off I could hear them laughing and giggling away. They both threw major tantrums, which didn't help my headache in the slightest. They claimed they wanted to sleep in the same bed, and given their mom has been in Cuba for the last week, I figured what the heck? If it will get them to shut up. But no, of course not. I took away Cyrus' handheld video game that the two of them were watching and squealing about which of course brought on tears from him.

Get me the hell out of here! I feel so isolated in this house. I can't leave, I can't socialize with anyone my own age and my only connection to the outside world is my cell phone and my occasional internet time. It sucks.

I woke up this morning with a splitting headache and no patience what-so-ever. It's hard to be tolerant when the two kids you spent half the night trying to get to bed, decide to wake up around 8am bellowing "Old MacDonald had a Farm" at the top of their lungs. I really need to invest in earplugs. Discovered that Cyrus had drawn all over his sister's face with red marker. Thank god it was washable.

Thank god for parents. My dad drove all the way in with a plunger and fixed the toilet situation. Super Daddy to the rescue! Seeing him was also a nice glimpse of reality; that the last five days are not what my life actually looks like. I started crocheting a scarf/ blanket (I'm not sure yet) with variegated yarn which looks super cool so far. The person I was trying to get ahold of all last night texted me back this morning, and I got to take a long hot shower so things are much better than they were this morning.

I'm so exhausted from the escapade last night that I have spent a good chunk of the day napping. I've gotten up to get the kids meals and tidy up the dishes, etc. but wow. I can't remember being this tired in a long time. I've always been a heavy sleeper but when there are two other people in the household who are relying on you, you tend to sleep with one ear open. Shepherds Pie is in the oven, and I'm stoked. Today is a comfort food kind of day. It's been grey and dreary since this morning, and because it poured all afternoon, I didn't take the kids to the park.

I think they sense that I'm not impressed about what happened last night and (fingers crossed) they will go to bed when they are supposed to. I'm starting to think that I'm too much of a control freak to have children.

New Beginnings

Given its the last day of the year 2011, I've been reflecting a lot on this past year. Mistakes I've made, the heartbreak I endured towards the middle of the year, all the new things I've learned, the hurdles I've overcome, and how much of a better person I am. The year 2012 for me really is a fresh start. The latter part of 2011 I wish I could just go back and delete.

I hate making New Years resolutions because many of them are not long-term goals, and they often fail. My goal for the year is to do a photo blog: Project 365 - with one photo for everyday of my life. It will be posted on here, as well as on Facebook. One of my classmates from university did it, and it was interesting to see all the things she did over the course of an entire year. I think it also forces me to get out and do more on a regular basis so that my life doesn't become boring. I also love taking pictures and photos require a lot less writing than a regular blog, so I don't anticipate it will be too hard to keep on top of. These last couple of months I have been getting better at goal setting and undertaking new things.

So far in January I will be:
- starting a chess club at the school I work at
- volunteering in the french classroom
- teaching badminton at the YMCA
- joining a second badminton club
- starting zumba classes
- continuing with my 3x/ week yoga classes
- starting my photo blog
- taking care of my new Betta fish Sébastien
- continuing the organization of a Quizbowl tournament to be held in early February

It's no wonder I'm single eh? I have no time in my schedule. And to be honest, it feels great to be "doing me" for the first time in nearly 3 years. I do what I want and don't give a flying fig about what anyone else thinks. Being single is so much easier than being with anyone. Sure it gets lonely sometimes, but you can't ever be let down. The only person you can ever rely on is yourself.

Parenthood 101 (Day 5)

I have reached the halfway point of my journey. Wow. Today is New Years Eve and then I only have 3 more days until I can get my old life back. That sounds awful, as if I'm trapped, but in a way I am. My entire day revolves around the kids and I can't really go anywhere without bringing them with me. Even the 10 minutes I spend in the shower away from them, my mind is going through horrible scenarios that could be taking place when I'm not there to watch them.

In a few ways, this experience has gotten easier. Over 5 days, I have gotten used to the new routine of the day, the smells and sounds of the house, the personalities of the two kids, and whereabouts to find everything in the kitchen. I've also gotten better at deciphering what the two of them are saying. Neither of them speaks very clearly and as a language major it's very infuriating to not understand what someone is saying.

Currently supper is in the oven, as well as a batch of cookies that I turned into a loaf shape. I figured they wouldn't care what shape their cookies were in, and frankly I didn't have the patience to dick around with all the spoonfuls of cookie dough.

As tonight is New Years Eve, I'm praying that both kids pass out around 8am at the latest and I don't have to listen to the wailing of Isla again for another four hours. FML. Again, I am getting paid for this, and sometimes that is my only incentive not to put my hand through the wall. It's kinda hard for me to read all of my friends on Facebook posting their status about what they are going to be doing this evening, knowing that I'm rooted here with no possible way of leaving.

Admittedly I'm not a party animal (part of the reason I decided to take this job) but my evening will be consisting of a bottle of sparkling wine and the couch, and possibly some Lindor chocolates. It's kinda depressing in a way too because this time last year I was with my ex on New Years; the party, the kissing at midnight, the whole shebang. Sigh. How things can change in a year.

Parenthood 101 (Day 4)

Woke up a little later than usual this morning to find the kitchen had been ransacked. Isla had taken the liberty of going through the cupboards and fridge. I was far from impressed. Just like last night, she cried for hours over her mom. I've almost had it with her, and I'm slanting towards wanting a son over a daughter when I eventually have kids :P I know that's a general statement because I know some boys can be hellions, but wow. Cyrus is so calm and collected about everything. Isla throws tantrums and cries over the minimalist things.

Currently she is sobbing in her room because she doesn't want to have a shower before we all head to Playtrium today. I asked her to get a towel and now she's bawling as if her dog just died. Ugh. I don't think that showering is an unreasonable request. I love the show Supernanny. She's just great because she has a backbone and doesn't let the kids get away with garbage. I think alot of people learn to parent by what they grew up with, and in retrospect, my parents did a pretty good job. I can also see why mom opted to stay at home and raise us; it's a fulltime job and unlike me, she didn't get paid a cent for it. They wound up with three kids who all completed high school, who all have friends, who never got strung out on drugs or alcohol and who don't have kids yet. We all have good morals and goals in life.

I have a new found respect for parents, it is without a doubt the toughest job out there and you don't even get paid for it. It's also a minimum 18 year contract.

I know also understand how annoying it is to be constantly asked: "When's lunch?" and "What are we having?" My mother must have the patience of a saint.

The notion of childcare is an interesting one to me, largely I think because I never had it growing up. My mom stayed at home for nearly 20 years before heading back to the workforce. Stay at home parents are growing more and more scarce, as people are trying to create a better life for their kids by buying them things, instead of actually taking the time to parent. With my dad as the only income in our family, my parents learned to stretch a dollar. We never went without food, or new clothes or any of the essentials - but there were no family vacations or flashy new cars or a brand new in ground swimming pool in the backyard. My parents were really great with their money, instead they invested in real estate and land, two things that gain value instead of lose it.

I took the kids to Playtrium today, which is just a glorified indoor jungle gym. I remember going there for birthday parties when I was little. The two ran around for the better part of two hours and I took them to McDonald's afterwards for cheeseburger happy meals. We got to take a taxi, as I don't drive and the kids were pretty enthused haha.

10:19pm: The battle of Put-the-Three-Year old to bed is still raging. I shall update you tomorrow. Kids are great, but damn do they ever make you want to punch things sometimes :S

Parenthood 101 (Day 3)

Made it through two days and two nights. That sounds awful, as if I'm on some survivor show, but wow. It has been eye-opening for sure. It not even having to deal with kids that is wearing on my patience, its the screaming and fighting. The youngest one, Isla, screams over EVERYTHING. And most of the time, there is nothing wrong - she is only doing it to get attention. I caught on to this pretty quickly and have been ignoring it. Its miraculous how she can turn her crying powers on and off. Last night she was homesick for her home, which was genuine. Problem was she cried for four hours. I have worked as a camp counselor and was also occasionally homesick as a child, and as awful as it sounds, a lot of kids just cry themselves to sleep. For me personally, stuffed animals make everything better, and even for this week long excursion, I brought along Billy Idol the sock monkey my mom made me for Christmas.

Just served the kids breakfast; a waffle for Cyrus and a bowl of Lucky Charms for Isla. Another thing that astounds me at mealtimes, these two don't have the concept of dessert after a meal. When I asked the pair of them what they wanted for lunch yesterday, they replied "chocolate pudding". O.o

Lunch was comprised of finger foods - cheese and crackers and grapes. Both of them gobbled it up upon hearing that they could get pudding for dessert if they finished everything on their plates. I'm gathering they don't have regular mealtimes and are generally picky eaters. Supper was chicken nuggets, sweet potato fries with corn and peas and neither of them were able to eat much of the veggies. I guess I was never a very picky kid - largely I think because I was forced ti learn to like most foods. Mom made one meal, if we didn't eat it - we went hungry. Hence I learned to like whatever was placed in front of me. The one exception being tuna casserole, which to this day I can't stomach. I'm not even entirely sure why - I like all the ingredients in it, just not all together.

Both of them passed out around seven last night; I took them to the park for an hour today and they both had a jolly good time sliding around on a giant patch of ice and seeing a dog come by the park with a jogger. They were tuckered out and we're heading to Playtrium today - basically a ginormous jungle gym. I plan to take them to McDonald's for supper afterwards. Should be a good day. Kids are a little easier to deal with when they are tired :P